High on Pain Medicine
by WriterofGotham
Summary: The Batfamilys reactions to pain medicine.
1. Dick

Dick on pain meds is torture for the Batfamily. None of them are immune to being cuddled and held and touched and kissed. Sloppy wet kisses.

Like the time Dick got in a fight with Man Bat and got stabbed with his claws. He was on bed rest so he wouldn't overdo it hurting himself further. He would call for Damian and when he got close enough he would grab and hold him like a teddy bear.

He would pat his hair and call him, "Baby Bat" or "Little Baby Child" much to Damien's dislike. Damian didn't move for fear that he would he would hurt him more. Damian almost killed Stephanie when she took a picture of him and Dick laying together asleep.

Dick also sings and only wants to watch Disney movies. He sings along to every song, very pitifully. Tim likes to sit with him; he'll work and watch him to make sure he doesn't pull any stitches. All wrapped up in blankets he'll watch Tim work and eventually he'll get his hand so he can't work and Tim would have just watch every Disney movie ever made, but the Lion King. They don't talk about that one, ever since he was a kid and had nightmares about his parents death. Mufasa falling brought back to much memories.

Bruce will watch over him from a distance he'll make sure that the books he'd put off reading appear on his nightstand or where he can easily see then.

Dick likes that he doesn't have to do his puppy dog eyes to get his favorite meals, even though he pretends he doesn't know that Alfred did it on purpose.

Dick on pain medicine is only fun for him he enjoys making everyone feel sorry for him.

 **AN**

 **I'm going to write all the Batfamilys reactions to pain meds.**

 **Review what you think!**


	2. Bruce

Are you kidding? Batman doesn't take pain medicine he suffers though and learns from the pain.

Bruce however takes benadryl and gets knocked out from half a dose. He may or may not have woken up to a his whole face being done in full make up.

That is when he decided suffering through was an awesome idea.


	3. Jason

Jason on pain pills when he was Robin

Jason's first encounter with pain medication was one that Bruce still had nightmares about. It was innocent enough pain killer, Advil of all things. Jason found out he was allergic to Advil pretty soon after taking it. It couldn't be hives or maybe even a getting sick it was hyperactivity.

He lept around the batcave saying things like, "I know who Batman is" or "I think Alfred would be a better Batman than you, Bruce" and "I know why people do drugs now, I feel like my soul has left my body." In a sing song voice.

It was hours before Jason said something like himself. Long hours, very long hours. Alfred had tried to get him to calm down by getting him to drink tea. He didn't calm down, though he challenged Alfred to a contest to see who could drink the most tea.

Alfred won.

Eventually, Jason crashed. He was never allowed to take Advil ever again.

 **Review! Up next Cass.**


	4. Cassandra

Cassie doesn't react to pain medicine, everyone else reacts to her being hurt instead.

She had gotten two broken and one fractured ribs. She had taken a few pills. Stephanie poked her rib and said, "Does that hurt?"

"Yes. Hurt, been worse."

Cassie doesn't get hurt. Ever.

Stephanie poked her rib again. Damian was unused to his sister being hurt. She was the best fighter out of them all. Damian held back the urge to poke her rib, she couldn't have gotten hurt. It was hard to believe Cassandra Cain injured by a common thug. He had snuck behind her when she was fighting two other thugs.

It was unheard of Dick came behind her and poked her rib. "I can't believe you got hurt." Dick said.

Bruce knew that even the most well trained soldier could get hurt. But he had a hard time believing that his daughter had gotten injured. She seemed invincible most of the time.

 **AN**

 **This is inspired by a Leverage. It was Parker, who was poking Eliot because she couldn't believe he'd gotten injured.**

 **Cassandra Cain is the best fighter out of the the Batfam**

 **Review, I love them. Reviewers are my favorite people.**


	5. Damain

Damian had to have his appendix taken out. The doctor and had to have stitches in his hand from where Damian had snuck in a knife and tried to make the doctor go away. Forcefully.

He hated to admit weakness. After the operation he was taken back to the manor and left in his room to sleep.

Dick had to sneak in Damian's room because he was told in no uncertain terms not to bother his little brother. He walked in to see that Damian was curled up in his bed with a lot of lumps all around him.

At first he thought it was the blanket lumping up. Until he saw that there was cats everywhere.

Everywhere.

They were all around him, in the floor, at least ten in bed with him. Dick tried to see if he could figure out a point of entrance. All that looking and he couldn't find out how Damian got that many cats in his room.

Damian looked at Dick bleary eyed.

"Do not touch them, Grayson." Damian said and fell back in bed with a thud. A few meows resounded.

Damian on pain medicine lures cats to the manor.

They never figured out how Damian got that many cats in his room. When he woke up he didn't remember anything. They never left him unsupervised on pain meds ever again.

They couldn't handle fifty three cats in the manor.

 **AN**

 **Tim will be next**


	6. Tim

Tim on pain meds is both alarming and hilarious. He tries to work, but gets sidetracked thinking about the wonders of the universe.

He had gone too many rounds with Killer Croc, and was pretty busted up. He was sitting in the drawing room with Dick and Damian when it started.

"Why doesn't the Joker ever just get tired of the cat and mouse game? He'll never win. I get tired of all the villains being evil. I mean, you can't leave them alone for a minute. I bet I would be a better villain I would make a move on all their territory, people would respect me and then be under my dictatorship. The whole world, renamed Timmy Land."

Dick looked at him and replied, "Did you drink all the tea Alfred gave you?"

"Yeah, Alfred's magical. The tea is making all the pain go away, like it was touched by a unicorn horn." Tim said in a hushed, slurred voice.

"Drake, the pain killers you refused to take were in the tea. Tt, fool you should have been killed by Killer Croc." Damian said with venom in his voice. He was glad he was ok, but he would rather die than act like he cared.

Tim teared up a little. "Damian that's so nice of you. You do care." He proceeded to walk… stumble to Damian where he promptly passed out on the unsuspecting Wayne.

"Oh. You're boney and hard. Why can't you feel like a plushie." Tim said before he started to slightly snore on a flustered Damian.

Alfred searched for a pain medicine that wouldn't affect Tim like that. Damian had to get Dick to pry Tim off of him.


	7. Red Hood

Jason had gotten stabbed in the shoulder when he was running with the Outlaws. Roy had had stitched and bandaged his shoulder, while Jason was passed out he gave him a shot of morphine.

Big mistake.

When Jason came to he looked around wildly and grabbed his helmet. He settled it in his arms and held it like a baby. "I love you. You are so pretty, if I have a bad day I just look at you and smile."

Kori and Roy were watching with rapt attention at Jason admitting his undying love for his hood.

"I am so recording this." Roy whipped out his phone and began to film Jason's babbling.

"I love you, Roy. You're my best friend and you understand me and my need to steal peoples souls. I love you too, Kori you'll always be my favorite princess. You should be a Disney Princess you don't need no ol' man you got two buff dudes instead. Plus, you can kick butt without us. We should steal Titus and make a movie about the three of us." Jason was smiling as he spoke and stroked his helmet.

"Why do we need a dog?" Kori asked. Slightly peeved at his description of her

"Ok, we can steal a panda instead of a dog." Jason said as if he thought that a dog was ridiculous, but a panda was as logical as Spock.

"I am sending this video to every single Bat. I am going to die laughing, if he doesn't stop." Roy said, as he held his ribs.

Jason looked at him concerned, "Don't die Roy, it really sucks."

A few hours later, Jason woke up with a sore shoulder and he didn't understand why Roy and Kori told him that they loved him too.

 **AN**

 **Who should I do next?**

 **Review!**


	8. Stephanie

Steph had gotten in a fight with a bad guy, she had a dislocated shoulder and a busted lip. She won the fight, but at a cost. Alfred had tended to her wounds and she had taken some pain reliever Tim had invited her to stay the night at the manor. She agreed, it was nice she thought as she was sitting on the sofa with Tim. Tim had his hand on her good shoulder and she felt safe.

They fell asleep on each other. Steph woke up a little later she had a nightmare.

Tim was shaken awake. "Sing to me." Stephanie ordered him.

Her arm was still hurting and the pain medicine was making her a little fuzzy, and she just wanted to be held and sang to. Ordinarily, she wouldn't have asked him that because Tim sings like he has a bull frog stuck in his throat.

He sang a rendition of "Hallelujah" he knew that she liked to listen to it by Music Corps. In a drug haze Stephanie thought he was the best singer ever as she snuggled closer into his shoulder.

She fell asleep before Damian came in to try and kill Tim. In Damian's defense he thought it was a bird trapped and was dying. He was going to put the bird out of it's misery. He couldn't tell that the "bird" was singing words.

 **AN**

 **I saw Wonder Woman yesterday it was so good, it had action, humor, a touch of sadness it was great.  
**

 **Review!**


	9. Alfred

Alfred On Pain Medicine

Alfred on pain medicine is unusual he rarely gets injured. when he does get hurt he doesn't like taking anything that dulls his senses.

So when Alfred had fallen done the stairs and broken his arm he was forced to take medicine and rest. All of his boys took turns staying with him. Dick took the first round, in which Alfred taught him the finer points of aiming a snipers rifle. Just in case he needed to know. He kept calling Dick, Private Grayson.

When it was Jason's turn he slept mostly and when he woke up he taught Jason how to crochet. Jason wouldn't have learned it from anyone, but Alfred. it turns out the repetitive motion was calming and Jason fell asleep to be awoken by Tim.

Alfred told Tim how he once caught and ate a panda.

"There were endangered, Alfred! How could you eat a panda bear?" Tim asked appalled.

"It was war! I ate a panda. I didn't like it, but it was me or him." Alfred said emphatically.

"You faught and killed a bear, nothing you say can surprise me anymore." Tim said as he shook his head.

Cassandra stayed with Alfred next. Alfred taught her all the words to, 'As I was Going To St. Ives.' She didn't understand half of it, but Alfred wanted to teach her something. So as anyone walked by the west part of the manor they her Cass's sweet and low voice and Alfred's deep robust English accent singing an old song.

Damian didn't want to sit with Alfred he wanted to do anything but, stay with the old man. He saw Jason crocheting and Tim looking up when pandas went on the the endangered species list. [They got off the list, thankfully.]

Damian was told stories from Alfred's childhood. Damian enjoyed Alfred's stories of growing up, they weren't full of fun or saying that he had a terrible childhood. He laughed at some of the things Alfred had done when he was small.

Bruce was last to stay with Alfred. "Did you enjoy making the kids listen to you?" Bruce asked.

"Of course, if I say anything they dismiss it to pain meds or they listen thinking they are learning some deep secret." Alfred said with a glint in his eye.

"I had no idea you were so vindictive, Alfred." Bruce said as he handed him a cup of tea.


	10. Barbara

Being Batgirl, Barbara had her fair share of injuries, the first time she got hurt badly enough that she took pain meds was when her and Robin decided to take on Two Face by themselves. Long story short a dislocated shoulder is painful, as is a knife to the thigh.

Dick had felt responsible and even thought he got got roughed up, his injuries where minor. Alfred patched her up and she had to sneak back into her house. She had taken a pain pill and fell asleep.

That morning she drug herself out of bed and limped to the kitchen, she took a pill right before the Commissioner walked in. Her father eyed her concerned, "Are you alright, Barbara?" He asked.

"Yeah, Dad. It's just girl problems, I feel like I have a baby panda inside me, jumping up and down with a chain saw." Barbara said knowing he had no idea what to do when she mentioned girl problems.

"I'm sorry, baby. Have you taken anything?" He asked.

" Oh, yeah. When the panda comes to play the advil chases it away." She started to laughing wildly. "Get it. It rymes."

"I have to go to work. Call me if you need anything." He left quickly.

Barbara called Alfred, "What did you give me? I find everything funny and I feel great, my shoulder and leg don't hurt. I feel floaty." She asked as she barely kept in a giggle.

"Mistress Gordon, how many did you take?" Alfred asked as he barely kept in a sigh.

"Three."

"Oh dear, you're only supposed to take one. It knocks the edge off. You'll be fine. Don't over do it again." Alfred answered.

They talked for a few more minutes then Barbara iced her shoulder and slept off the pain meds. Commissioner Gordon came home with chocolate.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" He asked. "The panda chased away?"

Barbara turned scarlet that was the worst conversation she'd ever had. A panda with a chainsaw? She would never live it down.

 **AN**

 **Review!**


	11. Tim again

Tim blearily stumbled out of the dentist office Bruce and Dick on either side of him to keep him steady. Ever since Bruce found out that he never had his wisdom teeth out he made it his mission to get him an appointment to get them out. If Tim heard it once he heard a hundred times, "It's better to have them out now than later in your life."

Tim never told him that he was surprised he was still alive at this point. Wisdom teeth was low on the priority list as far as he was concerned. But Bruce being Bruce and the ever-stubborn Batman eventually won that argument. Tim almost had escaped when there was a gang war that broke out, but Jason had to volunteer to _take care of it_ and Bruce _let him_. Tim had no allies in the war to keep his teeth. The gang war was more important than teeth that didn't bother him. He went in search of allies to prove to Bruce that he was fine with his wisdom teeth.

Damian laughed long and hard.

Jason smirked and told him, "Have fun eating all that ice cream and baby food."

Dick promised to take off from work to spend time with him.

So here was Tim in the back of a car starving and with a headache that coffee would be able to fix. His mouth was literally full of cotton and sore. He blamed Bruce.

"I's all yo'r foutl," Tim scowled as Bruce drove away from the office.

Bruce just nodded and pretended understood the gibberish.

"Yo' bettr n't be enj'ying this," Tim said as he leaned his head against the window staring at the people they passed on the street. People that had all the teeth they had been born with. He still felt weird from the whole procedure and he blamed Bruce for it.

They had a short stop at a drug store that resulted in Tim explaining to Dick how the moon was not necessary to life on earth. "What does it really do? Waves and tides? That's what people want you to believe. It's really useless. Dick don't get me started on dinosaurs! There is no evidence they exist!" Tim had gone into explaining. At least that what Dick translated it to be. It was too funny not to record and Tim had been using sign language along with speaking so Dick heard all about the dinosaur theory. The jumbled theory was something that Dick had never once considered Tim capable of coming up with. Dick was beginning to think Tim was secretly behind the flat-earther movement.

"The bones are all mass produced and were buried years ago by a rich man that thought it would be funny. Listen to me, Dick the dinosaurs are all just things people want to believe in," Tim rambled on unaware of the phone videoing him.

As soon as Bruce came back with the paper bag full of medicine Tim glared at him before turning to Dick and saying, "He believes in dinosaurs and the moon's importance."

"Yes, Tim. I do. One day you'll thank for this," Bruce replied.


	12. Damian

Damian on steroids was something that no one hated, except Damian.

First off Damian hated walking pneumonia, it was not even "real" pneumonia. He felt awful and all he wanted to was either get better or die and be rid of the horrid walking pneumonia.

Leslie called in a prescription for him that she promised would help, so like a fool, Damian took them. With the promise of relief, Damian took them and now he was paying the toll. It started when he and Grayson were playing Final Fantasy IV and his eyelids got heavy. A second later he woke up and there was a blanket over him and Grayson had enough pictures to blackmail him until he was thirty. He was sick it was expected for him to get lots of rest.

Damian assumed that was the last of that no more falling unconscious like a damsel in distress in movies he had been forced to observe. Oh, no, not his luck so far he had fallen asleep randomly seventeen times in less than three days and there were the pictures to prove it. When he cuddled with Drake in the library. On Titus. In the batmobile. Upside down on a chair in a sitting room. In the middle of dinner. When Pennyworth told him to go rest. When Father was in the middle of taking his temperature. On Todd when he came to visit Pennyworth.

The humiliation was about to kill him before the walking pneumonia had the chance.


	13. Tim again, again

"Have you seen Tim lately?" Bruce asked Dick failing to be nonchalant in his worry. Dick had come by the manor for a visit on the rare day he had off and _other_ business wasn't in need of being taken care of.

"Not in a few weeks this is the first time I've made it Gotham in a month. Is something wrong?" Dick asked with his mouth full of Alfred's cookies.

"This past week he sent in his case reports and there were more than double what he usually does. I glanced over the WE meeting reports and Tim verbally called out one of the senior chairmen in front of the whole board room. Jason said that he saw Tim beating the crap out low level scumbag to the point Jason stepped in. Jason stopped him!" Bruce explained.

"Tim? Baby Bird? About this tall," Dick gestured, "blue eyes, dark hair, _Tim?_ "

"I know. If it was anyone but Tim I could understand. I didn't want to freak him out by dropping in, but still it's disconcerting. I was hoping you would know something. I checked and all the Titans are still living and doing well. He hasn't been in a relationship with anyone to break up with."

"This is weird. I'll check with Jason and visit Tim." Dick promised pulling out his phone to text Jason. Within minutes Jason replied and gave more troubling information about Tim. The day was shaping up to be something that Dick had never expected.

* * *

Dick stood on Tim's doorstep less than thirty minutes after texting Jason. He hoped that Tim was actually in his apartment. He called and asked Tam where he was, thankfully she ratted him out. It still bothered Dick that before she hung up she told him, "I'd be careful what you tell him. Tim wasn't himself at all. He even refused his morning cup of coffee."

Dick was seriously debating knocking Tim out and taking him to the manor. Because whoever was in his brother's apartment was not his brother. Tim never turned down coffee, he never beat up low level thugs on a whim, and his little brother never didn't show up to work because he 'didn't feel like it'. Imposter, there had to be an imposter. This is Gotham that is the only possible reason for Tim to be out of character.

"Who is it?" Fake! Tim yelled through the door.

Whybwas he yelling? Tim always had surveillance camras every where. This was so much worse than Dick was prepared to deal with.

"Officer Grayson! Open up!" Dick barked.

"Geez, Dick, you're going to make the neighbors think I'm doing something illegal," Tim replied as he opened the door. Dick was greeted by the sight of Tim in loose sweaty clothes.

"What's up?" Tim asked inviting his older brother in.

"Just checking in," Dick explained, "Jason told me about the other night."

"Oh, that," Tim wiped sweat off his face with the sleeve of his workout shirt. "Jason exaggerated, the thug threw hot coffee on me and I snapped. I didn't mean to go crazy on him, but I smelled the coffee and, well, Jason laughed his head off and pulled me off." Tim explained almost ashamed.

"That's normal... I guess. Has anything else been up anything you want to talk about? " Dick quired.

"Not really," Tim sighed, "while you here you wanna watch a movie?"

Dick looked at his little brother and saw a tired 20 year old with too much responsibility. A lack of sleep that was beginning to become a serious issue and his workout clothes were baggy and not form fitting like they had been. How sad was it that the lack sleep and self care was enough to convince him that it was really Tim. The lack of self care was worse than he usual let it get.

"I'll watch whatever. Are you sure nothings up? Tam told me that you were not feeling good," Dick tried again to get Tim to talk.

"If you really want to know, I'll tell you," Tim sighed, "I had to go for my yearly check up for insurance and the doctor told my to stop drinking insane amounts of caffeine. I have high blood pressure and to stay off high blood pressure pills the doctor told me to stop drinking coffee and see if it helped. That and apparently it's supposed to help with jitters and anxiety. The only thing is I've been going through withdrawal symptoms."

"Oh, you really had me worried. I was almost sure someone replaced you. You were acted out of character and you know weirder things have happened," Dick explained truthfully, "I'm glad it's really you even if it's because of caffeine withdrawal even though that sucks."

"You're telling me. I've been so snappy and that robber through hot delicious coffee on me. It was caffeinated and I could feel the loss in my soul. He laughed about it and I snapped. Jason thought it was funny and probably told B, right?" Tim guessed, "That must have freaked him out and then he sent you to check on me. I get it. Now that I'm emancipated and twenty years old he never bothers reading the physical reports. Tell him that I'm fine and that I won't shirk my responsibilities again."

Dick couldn't help but sense the change in Tim it went from friendly to almost cold. Tim was right though, he wouldn't normally check on Tim he was old enough to not need help like the others and he was always so independent it was hard to remember that Tim needed a 'big brother check up' too.

"You know we care about you, right? Have you always had high blood pressure, or did this just start? You're too young too young to have high blood pressure!" Dick replied asking Tim the questions that should have been asked days ago.

"It's hereditary on mom's side. Stress and caffeine aggravate it so you don't have to worry about I'm handling it. Sorry, if I'm grumpy it's the lack of caffeine," Tim finished as he rubbed his temples in an effort to relieve the headache.

Dick felt dismissed like Tim expected that Bruce would reprimand him for missing a day of work, or that Tim felt that no one really cared that he had high blood pressure. It was true. If Tim hadn't been acting strange Jason wouldn't have noticed to tell Bruce for him to ask for Dick to check on him. It was a little sad. Even after everything Bruce checked on all the rest of his children more than he ever did Tim.

"I'll be quiet so I don't make your headache worse. Do you mind if I just sit beside you for awhile?" Dick asked feeling awkward.

"Sure, do what you want," Tim replied as he sank deeper in the sofa. It wasn't long before he fell asleep and Dick studied him more. He remembered to text Bruce what was going on. He was going to have to fix this. Tim deserved better than to be forgotten only remembered when it was pointed out.

Dick wished it hadn't come to this. He pulled out a blanket and put in on top of Tim as he moved about his apartment looking for food he could make for his brother. All he could find was a sad assortment of Cliff Bars, instant noodles, and expired grape jelly. Dick decided on a quick run to the grocery store it was literally the least he could do. It didn't take long to pick of things he knew Tim liked that actually had some nutrition in them. He got back to the apartment in time to pull together a half decent supper before Tim woke up.

The salmon and broccoli was simple, but delicious. It was a measly apology. He and Bruce were going to have to do better.

 **This isn't technically 'high on pain medicine' but caffeine is a drug and this had some hurt/comfort.**


End file.
